Sugar Crack Head

So I thought I'd start again and I thought I was back on the wagon but maybe I got on a space ship instead. :) I've been eating my ass off. I get down and then I really eat myself into oblivion hoping that a sugar coma will take me out of this fat sucky life I'm stuck in but damn God...he keeps me around for something. So tomorrow I'm trying something new. I'm going to go raw. I may be shitting and farting up a storm but that's what I'm going to try to do. And go to the gym and use the treadmill again as much as possible. I hate working because I literally sit on my ass. Yeah, our work isn't somewhere you can take a fifteen minute break, hell we don't even really get a lunch break....just have to wolf whatever down your face while working. It sucks. I looked up the laws and fucking Florida does not say an employer has to provide breaks or lunch. Can you imagine that? It's seriously fucked up. I may get brave and ask my boss if I can clock out everyday about 1pm and take a walk down the road just to get up and move some. What's an hour? Well, it's thirteen dollars to be exact. But hell....five hours a week would amount to a loss of $45. Can I manage that? I think so. I can even bring my bike up to work and bike some days and walk others. Maybe even bring my two ten pound dumb bells for when it's raining outside. *shrug* I'm sick of it all. I really wanted to die last night and took a lotta pills that really had me walking around like a zombie all day today ....I know better but it would be easier to just go away sometimes. People are mean. Kevin (my cowriter) is flaky on me lately and leaves me in the dark and that really pisses me off. So I'm done talking to people for a while. I'll just write my poetry and fuck around in here....Oh hang on...lemme go get a scale pic. Don't fucking be surprised if I'm topping 3 now...cuz I've been really bad. When I am depressed...I tend to forcefeed myself. I know, I need  a shrink but that's another thing my fucking job doesn't do...give us good insurance. It covers nothing but some emergency care place..yeah that's what they call our primary now since we became self insured. Fucking sucks. Ok lemme get weight. BRB. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. LOOK. God...I should just a hit man to fucking put a bullet in it. No hope for this old fat chick. I'm done. Seriously depressed now.