Monday Funday NOT

I really hate dieting. I hate starving. I hate walking when I'm in so much pain I could cry. And the fucking irony of having a house full of every pain medicine under the sun and not being able to take ANY of it really sucks balls. Yeah sure I can take something for the pain if I want to spend the night on the cold tile bathroom floor. Some days it's worth it but usually I just live in pain. This foot thing is really driving me nuts. It's bad enough with a fucked up back but now this left foot is really giving me fits. I have the boot ...yeah I look like a damn storm trooper from Star Wars when I wear it but it helps if it's plantar fascitis but this time I'm not so

sure that's what I'm dealing with. Of course I am one of the middle income working people so I cannot even go to the doctor to take care of myself because I have to pay for the poor people's insurance while my deductible is so high I can't even go to preventative appointments! Ok yeah I am pissed. Emotional. On my fucking period. Mad at Kevin. And I feel like shit. This was a bad day but I did manage to lose a couple pounds some where in the shit storm. Maybe tomorrow will be better. For now this is the plan: Go to work, water fast or coconut water fast if I can find some on the way to work and go right to sleep when I get home. Fuck the computer so you may not see an entry from me tomorrow night. I'm just going to Nyquil myself into oblivion. I'm still recovering from the Heath Ledger cocktail from the other night....never had it linger this long. Oh well, taking my shitty attitude to bed. Sorry for the negativity tonight but life is sucking right now for me.